Nevermind overjoyed, just start with Happy

Just a couple things here, yo...
1) We will all be overjoyed when None Given gets back... My life lacks meaning without her being around to listen to my witty asides... Oh, and it was so quiet around here because I was busy humping crying into my pillow.
2) WTF is little people?!? I think I know but my mind is rebelling... if it is what I think it is I think it would have been HILARIOUS if they got their heads stuck in the doo-hickey and got themselves treboshayed trebuchet'd into the next county... and landed in a meat processing facility, then rendered into even smaller bits and fed to alligators and/or crocodiles, which end up choking on the little bits and dying and being skinned and made into boots, which I could then buy and I would walk around all day kicking at things and scuffing them up... Unless its about children, children are ok...
3) 8 pounds, way to go...
4) Kitten Chow... There is a rumour, that Rage Against the Machine, since the sellout left Audioslave, is getting together for a few shows... for real...
5) ATTN: Somebody FINALLY decided to join us... Let it be known that I received an email today from this hot little number that wants to join the friendship club... I am expecting she should appear at any time... I don't know what she is going to call herself so I am going to busy myself trying to think up a nickname for her... for some reason, the first name that popped into my head was Skidmark... for the life of me I don't know why... Whatever it is I expect it will probably be in tribute to her passion for ME... perhaps Catfish Lover, or Trey Hornier (pronounced hor-ne-eh)... I should stop there, but I must add, that I was thinking that she could call herself Captain Morgan... and then you would have to say to yourself, Captain Morgan, but thats a liquor... and I would say something like, yeah, so is she... BUM BUM BUMP CHAAA... although I really having nothing to base this on and I am only trying to gush with enthusiasm at her joining the group... I think I have only ever been in the same room as her maybe 2 or 3 times in my life... but she is rawkin....
Yeah...