It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.

You gotta watch to the end...

For Catfish

Rage on, baby....

Turn this up to 11 and kick down some cubicle walls.

I love your poopy ways...

Who's a crabby M'fer?!?!

Dude,
I was working on a holy hell of a crabby mood... for real, yo... like the time I came in second in the sexy hip sway contest... So I dug up this...


Yeah, that's the shit... was actually looking for some Morris Day, you know, to alleviate my mood...
DUDE!!! Then I came across this:
It's like Jesus, if he had super powers, walked on up to me and patted me on the ass... just like that...

Mandarin and Sodas

You know.. being a drunk is sorely underrated. It gets a bad rap. It only takes a handful of psycho drunks to ruin it for the rest of us. Most people I know are fun drunks, mostly responsible, and drink to get high.. (come on.. what else is there?) and they then go home.. (via cab or foot.. lol) and go to work a little tired, but still are productive .. (for the most part). I drank this last weekend. I drank more than I've drank in a long time and frankly, it was totally worth it. I didn't get overly hung over. I drank both Saturday night AND Sunday night. (no kiddo, see) and seriously, it rocked. I highly recommend it as a way to escape reality. If you *know* you are doing it to escape reality, are you really escaping it? Frankly, I guess I'm not escaping reality. I love reality right now. It's kick ass awesome. It's summer, I'm free, I have a great kid, I have several new 'friends' that shall remain nameless and I'm drinking again. Really.. life doesn't get any better. So.. I raise my glass in a toast to all of you.. have a drink or two.. relish it.. enjoy it.. you are an adult and you are responsible (mostly) so you deserve it. I shall drink without guilt for the rest of my days.

Soundgarden - Loud Love

Was trying to find Big Dumb Sex, but nooooo....
Damn, remember when Chris Cornell was cool and attractive? My friend, back in the day, had hair just like his, the chicks LOVED it, his name was (and may still be) Mike...

The Noner is Cute and I Love Her

Last Friday was a teachery-workshoppy day or something, so I took the Noner to school with me and she sat very quietly and studiously during voice class. At the end of class, one of the students sang a song she was working on, which happens to be a song from the musical, "Wicked." The musical itself, in my opinion, is horrid and embarrassing (one of those over-the-top schlocky productions which took the original story and bent it over and rammed it up its pooper with completely insipid music, but I digress...)
Anyhoo, this musical, "Wicked," that is, is very popular with the 7-year-old set (understandable) and I was thrilled that the Noner could witness this student, let's call her "Shmengo," sing her li'l heart out on the song (which she was very good at, too!).
And the Noner was her little old quiet smiley self after Shmengo finished the song, although I could tell she was secretly thrilled.
She said nothing more of Shmengo until after school was over, and we were in the parking lot walking back to the car. The following exchange happened:

Me: So, that was pretty lucky that you came with me to school on the day that Shmengo was practicing that "Wicked" song.
Noner: Yeah!
Me: What'd you think? She sings really good, huh?
Noner: YEAH!
Me: Shmengo LOVES "Wicked."

..........

Noner: Hey, I wonder if Shmengo likes monkeys?
Me: Uhh....
Noner: Yeah, because if she likes monkeys, then we would have TWO things in common!!!

Roller Derby Here we come!!!

How does this sound for a get together?

Bout 5 - June 23, 2007 - Qwest Field Event Center/WaMu Theater
Derby Liberation Front vs. Grave DangerThrottle Rockets vs. Mile High Club - Denver Roller Dolls Travel Team (CO)

TICKETS ON SALE SOON

John Petrucci Phycho Execises 4

Dumb humor makes me laugh and this made me cry so I thought I'd share it with you. Darth Josef, if you are who I think you are, I think you may enjoy this.

I hate to admit it...

...but I have been digging on Lady Sovereign lately...
Lady Sovereign - 9 to 5


This one if freakin' Fantastic... check it out, but I gotta warn you, she drops the F-bomb quite a bit...

Lady Sovereign - Love me or Hate me

Dog Days of Summer

For ADO...

I hope the boys aren't sore with me for not being able to pick them up this week...

And ADO, I hope that they don't take their frustration out on you and your carpet...

If it's OK with you, I will resume my babysitting when summer vacation comes.

For my baby...

The Cult - Wildflower


Sing along, why don't you...

Hey you
You're a wild honey child
I'm out of control
Every time you are near me
I'm a wolf child, baby
And I'm howlin' for you
My heart beats faster, hrrrr
Hey hey, and it's overpowered, wow

I'm a wolf child, girl
Howlin' for you
Wild flower
Star of my dreams
The most beautiful thing, yeah

Yeah you
Sweet sensation of a nation
Oh, my soul
You're a perfect creation
You're an angel, baby
And I'm cryin' for you
My heart beats faster, hrrrr
Yea hey, and I'm overpowered

I'm a wolf child, girl
Howlin' for you
Wild flower
Star of my dreams
The most beautiful thing
Wild flower
I love you every hour
Wild flower
Burning down the night
Set the world alight, yeah

Wild flower
I'm a wolf child, girl
Howlin' for you
Wild flower
You're the star of my dreams
Most beautiful thing
Wild flower
I love you every hour
Wild flower
I love you every hour

Crazy 'bout you, yeah
Crazy 'bout you, girl
Crazy 'bout you, yeah
Crazy 'bout
Crazy 'bout you, yeah

An awesome blog

I hope nobody's jealous: I've been posting comments to another blog and I hope you guys do it to:

www.jesuschristscoolblog.blogspot.com

I feel lucky to have found it, because when you put a comment on Jesus's website, he will take the time to respond to it. He's really nice.

Happy Mama's Day Ladies!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you! I hope your day was full of super, shiney LOVE!

Some bubbly to celebrate this happy day

So, 39 years ago: May 11, 1968, the Earth became a nicer place to live. Also it got cuter, and softer, and more fun. All SHSFs, please take a minute to pause and reflect. Light a candle if one is available. Or, however the spirit moves you--perhaps a simple unhooking of your bra for a moment, or surreptitious stroke or two of a choice location on your body while you're sitting at your desk...

Thanks be to Catfish.

Amen.

He's 12 Part Deux

Am I turning into Kathy Lee Gifford? She used to talk incessantly about her children on Regis and Kathy Lee. Anyway, I had to share this gem.

Last night I decide my car needs a washin a'la drive through style. My son is ridin with me and he's non stop talking. Apparently girls like him now that he broke his arms. I told him that it wasn't a tactic I'd recommend repeating, but to roll with it. He even got two 8th grade girls to sign his casts.. Older women.

Anyway, I digress.... we are in the old Pathfinder (of which I am so grateful and thankful for as it has 165k miles on it and is still running). We pull up to the drive through car wash thingy and I put my money in. We roll in and close all the windows and get ready for the ride. As soon as we are good and stuck inside the vehicle, my son farts. Not just a little phhht but a big ol cheek slapper. And then he proceeds to giggle. Not only was it hot and humid in the car because we were in the car wash with all the windows ROLLED UP! But then his stinky ass has to let one rip. I was trying not to laugh because it really was disgusting, but I failed miserably. I was trying to be all stern and say Don't do that! That's rude! But hell if it wasn't funny.

Then he says.. and yes, I quote... "Mom, it stinks in here and my balls are all sweaty."

I lost it. I tell ya, boys.....

He's 12

Lately I've noticed a change. It has sort of crept up on us. It's been slow to materialize, but once it did... It was unmistakeable. My son LIKES GIRLS. You might think I'd be freaked out about it, after all... he's my baby. However, I'm having fun with it. The other day we played a game of 'Hot or Not'. We were naming off celebrities and he was telling me which ones he thought were hot.. etc. You get the idea. I named off Paris Hilton (there's a method to my madness) and he said.. and I quote... "She's a'ight, but she aint got no ass". I stopped dead in my tracks and he looked at me and realized he forgot he was talking to his mother and not his buddy. He said.. sorta quietly.. "I just said ass, didn't I". What was funny, was I didn't really care that he said ASS. What struck me was the fact that my 12 year old boy is lookin at them! Well, at least he has good taste.. he thinks Paris is 'a'ight'but thinks Alica Keys is 'HAWT'.

Rock and roll

Well, I got some news. I had a gig today, playin' to a house full of 4-and-5-year-olds. That's what I'm talkin' about.

We tore it up with "Camptown Races," "It Ain't Gonna Rain No More," and "Old MacDonald."

We had so much fun I gots myself a regular thang now. Every Monday Morning, I'll be layin' down the fat beats with the chilluns. Uh huh.

We're gonna throw down the Hokey Pokey next week, for rizzle...

Love,
Paula

No Happy friends news

I waited all day for it

maybe tomorrow

Givin' The Dog A Bone

Who's a lucky dog? Jack's a lucky dog!!

36 is the New Black

So I woke up this morning feeling happy. Giddy even. I am another year older and yet I still feel as young as I was yesterday. I went to the local grocery store to buy a celebratory bottle of vino. Took it to the counter and got out the debit card. Acted all coy-like to the ringer-upper guy. Like maybe I wasn't old enough to purchase alcohol. I swipe my card and wait for him to card me. He looks at me and smiles. I'm waiting for the golden words...."I need to see ID, please". But these words do not come. All he says is "would you like a bag for this?" Yes. Yes I would. One big enough to go over my head as I walk the walk of shame back home. Suck it, Mr. Ken's Market guy.

Random stuff about me

Looks like fun. Here goes:

1. I hate the word "slacks."
2. Dark chocolate is my favorite.
3. I am stricken with horrible cheese cravings from time to time.
4. I hate shoes that have laces. They slow me down.
5. After all these years, if I catch an episode of "America's Funniest Home Videos," I have to sit down and watch it through to the end.
6. I hate messy environments, yet I am also a slob.
7. My hair means a great deal to me.
8. My perfect day would involve sleeping, reading, and general silence.
9. I can't manage any sort of polite conversation until I'm awake for at least an hour in the morning.
10. My favorite color is yellow.
11. If I died and became an animal in the next life, I would want to be one of those giant manta rays.
12. If Billy Idol wanted to marry me, I would say no, but I would french kiss him ONCE if it was OK with Catfish.
13. I'm madly in love with my daughters.
14. I'm still waiting for that life-altering religious experience. You know, the one with the flashes of lightning and singing angels and stuff.
15. I feel very proud of myself if I manage to get a home-cooked meal on the table for dinner that doesn't include pancakes or spaghetti or tacos.
16. Sometimes I surprise myself by how bossy I can be.
17. I will never roller skate again.
18. I absolutely hate shaving and usually have a winter coat until the first day of the year that it's hot enough to wear shorts. And I'm not even a hippie.
19. If I step on a crack in the sidewalk with my left foot, I HAVE to step on the next crack with my right foot, to make it even.
20. I miss watching the Teletubbies every day, like I used to a couple years ago with my girls.

It's My Birthday, Yo

So, I've seen a few of you do this and find it interesting, so I will make a list of my own. It will probably be very short and it will take me a long time to hit the Publish button as I will toil and fret over it for a while.

1. I have two lovely daughters
2. I love wine. A lot.
3. I am a serious animal lover. But I still eat them.
4. I have an irrational fear of spiders. I do not eat them, though.
5. Rock 'n roll rules my world
6. I eat pizza almost every day
7. I would leave Mr. Chow for Daron Malakian.
8. I was joking on that last one. Or was I???
9. I buy way too many jeans.
10. I actually wrote this really fast and am not fretting at all. However, I am out of things to say about myself.

Oh yeah, and I get to go to Benihana tonight cuz it's my Special Day. Rock on.

Gives whole new meaning to the phrase

'TWO FER'

YES.. TWO for the price of ONE folks. Well, probably not.. I'm sure the hospitals and doctors will figure out how to quadruple their price for this one.

My son.. and his arms.

Doodoo head

Hi everybody, you're a doo doo head hee hee hee.
Bye bye,
Love,
Fiona

Sleepy...so sleepy

Dude. Yesterday I woke up long enough to call into Fiona's school and my school/work and tell them we're not coming. (Fiona caught my cold, see.)

Anyhoo, I went back to sleep...and woke up at 2 in the afternoon. For real. I counted: 17 hours, I was asleep. Then, last night, I went to bed at 9:30, fully expecting to hit the ground running this morning. But no. I managed to get up and get Jessica to school, and I HAVE to go to school today (my instructor may not be there) but, for real, if I didn't have to go to school today, I would be sawing logs right now. My head feels like it's wrapped in gauze and I just want to close my eyes and go away for awhile.

The coffee did not work, and I'm looking ahead to that day, sometime in the future, where I will be caught up on my sleep and feeling more like a human again. That'll be awesome.