Ahh Hell... BOOM

Bloodhound Gang - Boom
(don't bother too much with the video, just crank it up and close your eyes)

Just killing time

Bloodhound Gang - uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Just for the hell of it, a Morrissey moment...

Morrissey - Let Me Kiss You

For West Coast Gold

Possum Dixon - Nerves

Is this thing on?

Ok people. Where the hell are you? Why isn't anybody posting? I know, I'm the only one without a life, but that's besides the point.

Missing Winston

As most of you know, I had a dog. Yes 'had' being the operative word. I got Winston as a puppy. 8 weeks old. Bundle of fluff and exciteability. Fell madly in love with him. Then my husband and I decided to divorce. I moved out and took the dog with me. Now the single life has overtook (overtaken?) me. I am constantly gone, always wanting to be gone and never ever have time for the Puppy I fell madly in love with. He was there for me during some hard times. He kept me company and loved me unconditionally. I realized that him being home alone for more than 8 hours every single day was not healthy for him. I was also spending nights away from home (yes, I'm a ho.. whatever, I embrace it) and not coming home until noon the next day. I took some time to think about what I needed to do with my life right now and determined that Winston, being the wonderful little dog he is, deserved better than I could give him. I put an ad on Craigslist. I got over 12 hits in about an hour. I took the ad down and then began the interview process. I found a family that couldn't be more perfect for him, and he for them. This isn't a conventional family in the sense that President Bush would see it. Thank God for that. Lisa and Chelsea (not their real names) are a couple and have a 12 year old boy that they adopted of mixed race and he also has FAA (Fetal Alcohol Affect.) Lisa is a PE teacher, for children with challenges no less. Chelsea is a social worker. They want to train Winston to be a therapy dog to help their son. See, their son sometimes gets into situations where he rages, and they want Winston to be his little 'notifier'. When Winston senses that the boy is having problems, he will go sit by him and comfort him. I am in awe of this family. They also have a 9 year old dog named Mattie (not her real name.. lol) and a cat named Monica. (again, not her real name). They are beautiful people with so much to give, I feel rather overwhelmed that I found them and that Winston gets to live with them for the rest of his life. I am almost of the mind that this all happened for a reason, that I was only supposed to have Winston for a short time, so I could give him to a family like them. Or, perhaps it's all random and it really doesn't mean anything.. but I sort of doubt it.

So, here's to Winston, who gave me so much and now gets to share his love with a family like theirs. I miss ya Pooch.

Crushes

Sweet subject. I can relate to the teacher crush thing. Mr. Freeman was my 3rd grade teacher, and I totally know where you're coming from, WCG. I wanted to be his daughter/wife or something, wanted to go live in his house and he would take care of me and stuff.

My first age-appropriate crush was on John Sailing in the 5th grade. He actually became my boyfriend for awhile. We would leave each other notes in our coat pockets, naturally the first note being (and I was the one who asked): "Will you go with me," followed by convenient boxes to check, one marked "yes," one marked "no." I think I may have included a "maybe" in there too, in case he needed to think about it.

It lasted maybe a week or so, until he broke up with me, by note of course, that he had to dump me because too many people were teasing him. Apparently I wasn't the sought-after sexy li'l number then that Catfish thinks I am now.

Here's a fun fact: Whenever that Christopher Cross song came on the radio, I'd get sent into orbit, thinking about John: "Sailing....takes me away, to where I've always heard it could be...." Aaah. Isn't that romantic? See, because Sailing was his last name.

All right people, I'm here. My dog ate my ethernet cable so I wasn't able to post yesterday. Really.. he did. Honest. No friggen lie. Munched on the end of it.

Anyway.. okay.. My first Crush.

The Scene:

2nd grade, Panther Lake Elementary School. Kent, WA. Mrs. Dunn's class

The players: Me, Mrs. Dunn.

In 2nd grade I was 8 years old. It was 1975/76. I remember 1976 because it was some sort of Centennial Celebration for the United States. You'd think I'd know more about it, but shit.. I don't. I just remember a lot of Red White and Blue and a lot of talk about Revolutions. History is not my subject. I could actually care less about American History. I think it's a skewed representation from white folks point of view. I've always thought that.. even as a kid I had some sort of weird understanding that what I was being tought was not the full story. Anyway.. that's probably a whole other post.

My 2nd grade teacher. Mrs. Dunn. She had long blonde hair and wore the coolest 70's clothes. She was tall and thin and had these long fingernails. She had the whitest teeth. She had a tiny tiny slight overbite that was somehow very compelling. I was so drawn to her. She always smelled like Vanilla. She was so nurturing. I remember one day I was sad because somebody teased me about my short hair. She sat with me and looked me in the eyes and said I was beautiful just the way I was. That was it for me. I was in love. Head over heels, magically in love with my 2nd grade female teacher. I wanted to be her daughter. I wanted to be her husband. I wanted to move in with her. I had elaborate fantasies that she was my mom. As you can see it was a rather mixed up type crush, but hell I was 8.

Mrs. Dunn became pregnant during my time in her 2nd grade class. I was jealous of that baby. She looked so happy and radiant and I wanted to be the reason for it. I would deliberately be sad or upset sometimes, just to get her attention. When 2nd grade came to an end I knew I'd never see her again. She was due that summer and wouldn't be returning to teach for a while. The last day of school I brought her a homemade goodbye gift of sorts. I wrote her a letter and told her I thought she was the most bestest teacher in the world and that I loved her. Yes, I said I loved her. She got down on my level and gave me the biggest hug. I'll never forget that.

So see, nothing lascivious. Entirely innocent, if not a little.. weird.

Shit.. that's three... I need to post my 'crush' story now.. Okay now I created all this pressure, so it better be good, eh?

I am working.. so I will get back to you on this sometime today....

Let me just say one thing about it... He.. was a she.

Here goes....Old School Style!

I'm embarrassed but my first crush was on Davy Jones from the Monkeys. I was about 7 years old and The Monkeys was my favorite show on TV. I didn't realize I had the crush until I dreamed about Davy and I making out......tongue style! I don't even know how I knew about tongue stuff. I honestly thought that I was going to grow up and meet him and marry him someday! I really wish I had. Him or Donny Osmond or Michael Jackson.....

Crushin' on Brian

I honestly don't remember my very first crush, but the first one that came to my mind was Brian Summers in the 7th grade. He was one of the "cool kids" and I was totally digging him. He had all of the qualifications. Feathered hair, flipped collar, earring...you know. The important stuff. So, we would hold hands at Skate King and he would walk me home from school. Not all the way. Just up until the last hill. At the time I thought it was because that way, my mom couldn't see us making out but now I think he was just lazy. Or he had to go load a bowl. In high school he got a little (a lot) out of control with the Mary Jane and his parents made him go to rehab. He ended up wearing this device that would shock him every now and then. It was pretty funny. He used to crank it up and you could see his muscles all spaz out and stuff. Good times. But I digress. Brian and I lasted for 3 glorious months and then he dumped me. He said it was because I put myself down too much but I know it was because he wanted to go out with Dana Daniels. He wasted no time in hooking up with that one. She was a total slut. No she wasn't. But, her mom did buy her an RX7 and let her drive it to school. In the 7th grade! WTF???

Heh, girl... you a 'HO!!!

Yeah, I don't remember anything about love or crushes from the time before my old lady...
So here is someone elses crush instead:
In the fifth grade, I proposed to a girl named Denise Johnson, out on the lunch court. White blobs of seagull and pigeon shit rained form the sky. Denise said she wanted me to propose properly, between the gym and the cafeteria, after school. I combed my regular boy's, and wiped my modern glasses. At ten after three, I met Denise between the two buildings. I was shivering and my mouth was dry and tasted horrible. I got down on my knees on the shit-splotched blacktop in front of Ms. Johnson. My mouth was just level with her groin. I looked up at her pretty brown face and long, strait, black hair. She looked down at my damp cheeks and smiled benignly. "Denise, you are the prettiest, smartest girl in the whole school. Will you marry me?" My insides chattered against each other as I spoke the words. My face was livid and silly. I could feel my eyeballs bulging in their bone sockets, my knees ached. "Ha ha ha ha ha! You're too ugly! You look like you've been whooped with an ugly stick! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Her face had changed to a contemptuous snarl. Misty lavender donuts of shame appeared in front of my eyes. Suddenly a mob of snickering boys and girls jumped out from around the back corner of the cafeteria. They surrounded us, laughing and jeering. I stood up, wobbling, a lump in my throat, my asshole pinched tight. Denise joined the circle of snapping cruel children. She stood next to Rudy Stoltz, the handsomest most popular boy in the school. They held hands. "Fuck you, Jew-ass Bern-butt!," said Rudy. I put my huge, clumsy hands over my face. A cantaloupe skin hit me in the ear. I could hear the kids wandering away, giggling and guffawing. When I took my hands away from my face, I was alone. There was a thin white and green drool of seagull shit on my tan jacket. I walked home through a network of alleys.

Prostituting for Posts

Ok People.

One of the only reasons I'm posting is to get rid of my previous post. I got tired of seeing it everytime I logged in to see what my blogger friends had posted.

That's right people, I have no life. I actually check this blog almost daily. Okay, daily. I just think it's the coolest thing ever and I wish everybody here would post something all the time! How can I entice you to post something? Hmm.. For everyone of you that posts something by tomorrow, I will pay you a buck? No.. boring.. a buck doesn't even get you a cup of coffee anymore. How about this, everybody tell the story of their first crush?! I will post mine when at least 3 of you post something. Yes, I know.. lame enticement. It's all I've got. Besides, my story is awesome. You just wait.....

Yeah.. I got a little mushy..

Today, all commercialism aside, is a good day. Fathers. Dads. Poppas. Grandfathers, Pappys... whatever you want to call em. As I've grown older I've learned to appreciate my father's role in my life. My mother passed 4 years ago and was severely disabled from a brain aneurism when I was 20. My Father took care of her for almost 16 years before she died. In this day and age of divorce and absent father's, I just wanted to take a moment to recognize all the Fathers that do what they're supposed to do, and then some. I think there are many more of the good than the bad. My Dad lives his life as wholly as he can. He is almost 70 and active. He showed me how to be honest and forthright, just by his actions. Watching his loyalty toward my mother was one of the biggest gifts he could have ever gave me. He never complained, never once had a pity party, never. He was not perfect, he was often wore out, taking care of my mother was a 24 hour a day job. He fed her, bathed her, kept her company, he loved her. I am very aware of the unique and powerful role a father has in a daughter's life. I have several friends who have little girls, and I am awed by their relationships. I watch one of my friends, who is over 6 foot, 200 lbs, plays football, does all the things men do. Swear, Drink, Get dirty, and fix things... get on the floor with his 6 year old daughter and play with her dolls with her. She looks at him with her big brown eyes and absolutely worships him. Almost as much as he worships her. So.. to all you Fathers... Here's to you.

Happy Father's Day.

My Girls Are Complete Opposites

So, I needed a little time to get a few things done so I set the Little Chows down at the craft table to have a little creative time. Pens, paints, stickers, glue...that kind of stuff. I do my chores and then check up on them to see how they are doing.

Me: Hey Little Chow, what'cha making?

Little Chow: I've been drawing this picture of my family. Here's Dad, you, me and little sis.

Me: Wow. Very Nice. I can tell you've been working hard on that. Good work.

Me to Littler Chow who is busy rubbing two popsiscle sticks together: What'cha doing?

Littler Chow: I'm making fire.

Hmmmm.....she must get that from her dad.

Japanese Tetris --

Ok.... I haven't even watched the whole thing.. but you gotta at least watch up to when it's the big dude's turn.. tooo funny. And weird.

PUCKER UP!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlevdGvGcJM

Just be Cool...

I have a feeling...

All this loving and missing and X's and O's going on between Kitten and None is giving me a funny feeling in my package... actually it is a fun feeling, but anyhow, I was thinking of this picture I seen once of them 2 in their swimsuits by the pool having fun and whenever I came across that picture I always imagined them rubbing lotion all over each other, and this was way back in the day when they both had big hair and then I got this soundtrack in my head, and so I thought I would share it with you all:

Scorpions - Still Loving You


p.s. I tried to find a picture of a Chinese guy with a ponytail with his shirt off and all oiled up but you would be amazed at the stuff that pops up when you try to google something like that... Oh, and I used his real name in a search and apparently he is a world class dance instructor here in Seattle... who knew...

Back in the day...

You know.. when I was a kid.. this is the kind of stuff that we watched on TV, and we loved it. I don't know why, but I remember this. One day out of the blue, I started 'singing' this 'song' to my son. He was dying laughing, but of course had no frame of reference as he'd never seen this. Then one day, out of the blue (seems to be a theme.. this 'out of the blue stuff'), he sends me a link via email to this video. He found it on funnyjunk.com. The title of it was Manamana and that's exactly what it sounds like. I was so tickled that he found it, and I got to share it with him. We had a 'moment' over the muppets. For those of you with kids, I know you'll understand. That being said, please don't judge me for this, I know it's extremely corny but dammit if I don't think it's great. Maybe it's the look on the 'cows' faces, or how the little dude is all intruding into their song. There's a lot going on here. (If you want the video to stop, just mouse over it and click and the little 'play..stop' thingy will pop up and you can stop the madness.. )
But I recommend watchin the whole thing.. The end is even funny.

Editors note. I removed the embedded video cuz it played non stop all on it's own when you launch this page. You can find it here:
http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/movies/mahnahmahna.flvx

Call Me....Back???

I miss YOU like crazy.

Then crankin' it back up...

But it's still about my baby...

Janes Addiction - Mountain Song

Taking it down a notch...

For my baby... and all ya'll too, but mostly for my baby...

Sublime - Badfish

Take THAT!!!

Okay all you heavy metal head bangin peeps...

I am so HARDCORE deux

Ministry - So What



With the lyrics to Thieves right here just to keep it consistent...
I was listening to So What this morning on the bus and then got all excited about Thieves, but was still thinking about So What and I was all over the place, man... thinking about my old lady had me distracted... but I didn't want to put Lips like Sugar up because that would be super pussy, and I am hardcore...

I am so hardcore...

Ministry - Thieves



Click here if you really want to know WTF he is saying... if you DARE!!!

I am in a good mood, really... just felt like sharing my hardcoredness.

Radiohead

KC:

Feel free to school me in Radiohead matters as much as you wish.
Alls I know is that I loved "Creep" like a thousand years ago.
And then, a friend of mine gave me a sample CD of this guy:

linky rhymes with flinky

And I was all like, uhh.... Radiohead piano music sounds iffy, right? I mean, I've heard bluegrass Van Halen (WRONG!) and jazz Bob Marley (WRONG!) But this guy (Christopher O'Riley) is the SHIT, and he made me see the error of my ways, because I don't think I appreciate Radiohead as much as they are due.

I have a 5 dollar coupon for Borders. Which Radiohead CD should I buy?


XOXOXO

Tweaky Thom Yorke

So, I was trying to find a video for None Given but couldn't find anything fitting so I decided to cruise for a little Radiohead. NG: I don't know if you like them or not but I LOVES me some Radiohead and I LOVES me some None Given so please know that I post this with love. From me to you.

For Kitten Chow