now I understand

hung like a horse pinata

let me take a swing

hair above the belt

what is below the black belt

maybe hung like a horse

Harry Potter is HAWT!

I have, for some time now, secretly harbored a crush on Daniel Radcliffe. Yep. Even when he was definitely not legal, I thought he was, uhhh, yeah....shame on moi.

Anyhoo, the link below (Trey found it) is for the ladies, and/or the homo guys...too bad he's not wearing his glasses...

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/10584610.html#cutid1

workplace in shambles
annoyance, disgruntlement
muffins did not work

2Fer

I received comments
Anonymous Dog Owner
You made me happy

Jessica feels bad
Coughing is no fun at all
She needs a hug now

no penis no horse-candy

my own pinata I have

please stuff me with sweets

poor poor jessica
little girl lungs all gunky
cough cough cough cough cough

Weiner Haiku

The pinata hangs
It's oddly at an angle
Is the string too tight?

Of course

Where is all my stuff

boxes scattered everywhere

best go have coffee

Jazz Dispute

HAIKU CHALLENGE

GO!!!

where shall we put it
the pinata horse that is
hang it from my penis

haiku is generally in a 5-7-5 format, but we can be loosey goosey on it...
I issue a challenge, you go with it... new post, not in comments... more fun that way...
Of course you can issue a new challenge at any time, and no, you don't need to do a haiku on the same topic... although feel free to talk about my penis amongst yourselves...
p.s. penis penis penis penis penis penis

A whole new world

I got glasses this week. The guy who sold them to me was really good. I got two pairs. One for driving and one for reading.
When I left his office, I put my new spectacles on and screamed my ass off. I could see everything. I drove home going "wow" and giggling a lot. It was like acid, minus the feeling that my body was evaporating into the atmosphere. It was awesome.
Then, the next afternoon, I got control of the remote for like 15 minutes, and it was the Little House on the Prairie episode where Mary got her glasses and the whole world was amazing, the violin background music swelled to a panty-wetting climax...my car ride was totally like that.
Hey, speaking of wet panties, Charles Ingalls was oh-so sexy on that show. If I lived in Walnut Grove I would tear his suspenders off in a second.

Proof of Life

I see that some of you question my very existence. I am prepared to share with you a picture that my dear friend, Todd, drew of me and my family. Yes, he is a professional and yes, I am stacked.

The Elusive Kitten Chow is Indeed in the Hizzy

So it took me a while but I am now here. Prepare yourselves for the dorkiness that is me. Once I figure out how to post pictures and tunes you are really in for it. Happy Friday to All!

All out of Cat Food

Does Kitten Chow really exist? I mean.. I've heard all these stories.. but nary a post? Me thinks Kitten Chow is somebody's imaginary friend.

KITTEN CHOW IN THE HIZZY

I have it on good authority that the butt rockin' can now commence

In my opinion she rocks because she not only shares my taste for Kix, but Duran Duran also...

Thats all I got to say about that.

Kitty Chow???

Today is the day

Today is the 'move'. Our phones and internet are going to be disconnected at 3pm. Hmmm....I was told the customers will get a busy signal and the emails will bounce back. Fun stuff! Because of the disorganization and planning there are still 2 3/4 floors that haven't been packed yet, the place is a mess, no one knows what they are supposed to do and no one really cares. They are just wandering around. Some guys from the millionaire club or somewhere like that have been here helping and by the reddness of their faces and the way they smell they are getting a little buzz on to get thru the days. Hopefully, nothing important goes missing.

But Monday (angels singing) , yes Monday (angels singing) everything will be moved, put together, installed, cleaned and in place. The empolyees will walk in, sit down and start working like there was no move at all. No disgruntled customers or employees but just in case there are some rough patches the management is buying muffins. Muffins should solve anything that comes up............

It's like telling the Pope how to be Catholic

Dude. Poor Catfish. He just can't grasp the magnitude of Kitten Chow's expertise in all things RAWK! Last time we visited, Catfish was all like, "Hey! This new Wolfmother is the balls! I will make Kitten Chow a copy. She's a butt rocker--I know she will like it!" When the aforementioned CD (burned with love) was presented, she was all, "eh...yeah, I've had this for like an infinity years already---you mean you just discovered this?"

I tried to explain. I told him, "You can't tell her anything about butt rock...she already knows everything about it."

Then he tried to tell her how cool Pantera was, and did she ever listen to Pantera, and again, the response was, "Uh, yeah, dumbass...I was listening to them on the way to work this morning. Where the hell have you been? On Mars or something?"

And then, after that, he tried to tell her that the Antique Monkeys or some such thing were good, and she should listen to them. Dude, come on. I've known her for like freaking ever. That Monkey band is all like euro punk ska stuff. As if.

All's I'm sayin', is that if you think you can actually broaden Kitten Chow's butt-rock horizon (that sounds a little bit wrong), it can not be done. She knows all. In fact, you should face the truth and defer to her bidding when you are in the mood for some face-melting rock.

However hard you think you may rock, you will never come close to Kitten Chow's mastery of the genre. She, like, has her Ph.D. (poser-hatin' degree) in Rock and Roll.

Reckinize!

Doubt

You know, self-doubt is a BITCH. She's exciting and silly and fun and then she's crabby and confusing and insomnia making.. all at the same time. Especially when the decision involves the rest of your life and other people. For the sake of this post, I'll call this doubt 'Sybil'. On the one hand Sybil is all mystery and excitement and thrills. On the other hand, Sybil is unpredictable, angry and unstable. Sometimes the adjectives flip flop. For example, she will be mysterious, yet unstable... Or she'll be exciting yet angry. I'll be contemplating all my options and I'll decide something and Sybil will be all calm and in agreement. Then all of a sudden she'll just up and get angry and confused. She can't make up her mind and it's driving me nuts.

ROCK ON!!!

Dude!!!
20 greatest guitar solos EVER!!!

Moving...

My office is moving this week. Just down the street but we may as well be moving across the country. You would think there would have been some thought put into the move by the 'management' but we are just today (wednesday) starting to put things in boxes. We have to be out of the buliding (4 floors, 2 of production equipment) on Friday. We will all come to work on Monday and the thought is (by management) that all the production, communication, administration, sales, diapatch and customer service problems will be solved! I can't wait!! Luckily as a sales person I can get the hell out of there whenever neccesary. This is why I have lived in the same place forever and ever..... moving sucks.

For those of you without dogs...

...this article talks about the health benefits of adding a canine member to the family.


That's it for me before this blog becomes "Must Love Dogs"

Stop! Or I'll ....Sling?

Oh yeah..

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16763344/?GT1=8921

All this dog talk...

...

I miss my dogs. and even the cat.



Charlie is the female black lab/mix with the purple collar
Lucy is the pure bred black lab with the pink collar
Sally is the cat

I don't miss the total lack of appreciation from the girlfriend.
I don't miss the impossible expectations or pressure to be more like her father.
I don't miss scooping the poop 2-3 times a week.
I do miss the animals, however. :-(

Hey pt. deux

1) When I get home at night the dogs are soooo happy to see me. Sometimes one of them will even sing for me... awroooooooo....
2) Hey, Kitten, you have a dog, don't you? What was his name again? Why did you name him that? He sure seems like a friendly kinda dog... what is he, a great dane?
3) RedBear - you are "outdoorsey" enough for the whole group... I am only gay enough to get free beer from dudes in bars and be followed down the hall... and those couple of films I made way back in the day... but I needed the money, yo...

HEY!

Am I the only "Mo" in this group..hmmm..am I??? WELL!

That doesn't seem very diverse..wait...hold on...Catfish is kind of sorta..a..umm.... nah...he just looks like one.

Thanks for the Poop Report, I have two little blessing myself...they rock!!

Poop Report

For those of you who need to know, a Poop Report is extremely important when you have dogs. Especially spoiled dogs that have a babysitter during the day when you're at work. Knowing if the poop happened or not is an evening changing event. If it hasn't happened, you need to maybe take an extra walk or a longer walk after dinner and sometimes prior to dinner depending on the look in your dogs eyes. Also, if you are going to go somewhere in the car you aqre going to need to talke a little extra time before climbing in...just in case.

If it has happened, it is nice to know the number of times, consistancy (if different than usual), place (if it's interesting....sometimes they find new favorite places and I would like to take them there if I know about it) and of course I would want to know if they were cute when they pooped. I have the very best 'sitters' I could ever find and I get the scoop on the poop on a regular basis. Other than the dogs I don't really have a thing for poop....just the usual stuff.

One of my boys....

My Shiny Super Happy little Buddy!!! My other little Buddy is too cute for the camera. Maybe you can see him at another time.

PS..Thanks for the 'poop report'... comes in mighty handy!

Cannolis

Ah Trey, you did make the connection however.

Sometimes, cannolis are as good as canoodling.

This great Italian dessert is excellent. The predecessor to such dessert classics as the Twinkie and the Zinger, the cannoli is perfection in a pastry.



A pastry tube, filled with a Ricotta cheese filling, usually flavored vanilla or chocolate. A sprinkle of powdered sugar over the top.... life doesn't get much better.

Good godamn friday to ya...

Hey ya'll...
uh... shoot, I lost it... I was going to compliment you, talk about how attractive and sexy you all are all of a sudden or something... and you are... great to have you here...
A couple points of business, yo...
1) How do you like the template? We can change it if you like. I was thinking of making some space on the left for pictures or graphics of some sort that we can contribute to... pets, chirren, stuff, you know... Let me know if there is any support for this.
2) We could change the whole thing, not use the rounders template... I can customize it or we can scrounge one up...
3) I wanna hear from Kitten Chow... she rocks and I think she can at least say HI...
4) Holy Shit, I wanna hear from MerMortuary... I strive to smell as good as she does, as I secretly covet her smelly smells that smell so good... some may find this objectional, but she has this incense oil called Dirty Hippie or something that I LOVE... and when we go to her house and give our hugs howdy or goodbye I secretly smell her...
5) ADO, you know when you come over and get your boys, I have been wanting to tell you how fun it is to have you all joined up here... your hair looks fantastic, btw... oh, and the boys pooped this afternoon...
6) WCG, you looked great today... your hair also looks great... did I tell you about this one time at this place we see each other at, I was doing my thing and I looked up from my thing and all the fella's were standing up like prairie dogs, very interested in something... I was all like WTF, and stood up to see what was going on... you were there and you were moving a filing cabinet and the fella's were looking at your boobs... I was all like, damn dudes... I respect you more than that so just took a quick look and went back to work... just thought I would throw that out there since I have to move my desk next week and don't respect you anymore so maybe you could help me move...
7) Chuck, uh, everytime you say something about canoodling I thing you are going to "cannoli", which is a tube filled with a creamy filling, so I guess, in a way we ARE talking about the same thing... how ironic or something... its a pun...
8) RedBear, they replaced the light in the mensroom on our floor, but you know what? The light is out in the bathroom downstairs over the stalls... its really dark down there...
9) None Given, you are super hot and sexy... I was thinking the other day that if we were at a party and you went and took a dump in the corner I would HAVE to assume that this was ok and I had been missing something all these years, because you can do no wrong... I was also thinking that if we were at a party and you told me to take a dump in the corner I would probably HAVE to do it because I trust you and you would never steer me wrong... because you rock and stuff...

Thats about it....

Friday Afternoon (or any other day for that matter)

I'm at work but don't seem to be working. It's a common occurance lately. The other day I got here late, went to coffee, went to lunch and then went to lunch again and then left early. But when I do stuff, I do it really well. I have so much to get done but I know I'm not going to do it because I never do. I have alot of my Dad in me and not much of my Mom I suppose.......
I can't wait to get home to not do all the stuff that needs to be done.

Did y'all read this?

This is awesome:

http://www.komotv.com/news/5234146.html

The Truth

Not sure what the frog theme is about, but here's one that I dated last summer. He, unfortunately, was not hispanic.

The secret this, the secret that.. geez. I will never ever confide in Trey again. I tell him one eensy bitsy tiny secret and look what happens. All of a sudden my bizness is all just out there. I mean, even the pee part. Nothing is sacred with him. That being said, I must say that there were some discrepencies in Trey's version of 'The Secret'. First of all, I did not imagine what my life would be like with the last name 'Sanchez'. His last name was not Sanchez. That was his first name. It was most DEFINITELY not a bottle of Arbor Mist (Strawberry White Zinfandel). It was Coors Lite, in honor of my recently departed Hispanic friend. Check it out http://www.coors.com/news_releases_detail.asp?pr_ID=151. I normally do not drink Coors Lite, but it was a special occasion and everything. Coors lite makes me quite gassy too, so I was really going all out. Anyway, I digress. I need to add that the phone calls did not start until AFTER I told Trey my secret. Draw your own conclusions. I have set up a trap outside to catch whatever is making the odd little tracks around my house. When it snowed they were really evident. Like tiny little Nike Air Jordan prints, but only the left foot. Just sort of drag marks where the right foot print should be. Thus far all I have succeeded in trapping is the neighbors cat (oddly with a Sombrero on). I did go ahead and check with El Centro De La Raza. They did not know my new friend. I think he must have been one of those good folks that volunteer their time under an alias, and in disguise. Maybe he volunteered dressed as a midget.

Damn Frogs

I gave up the secret on my other blog... shhhh...



marriedtothesea.com

Girls with Daddy Issues

So, I had a good portion of a post discussing the merits of girls with Daddy issues...

It was pretty good, and really ripped into the "fairer" sex a little bit.

Then I had an awesome night out with a member of our Y chromosome lacking gender, so it didn't feel right to post something like that when my heart just wasn't in it.

So yeah. Dinner, good conversation, good company, plus craptacular horror movie (Primeval) afterwards, plus connection with the other person = AWESOME.

As I am awesome 24/7/365, this was to be expected, but I am still grinning like an idiot. It's kinda cute.

Of course, now I have to clean my apartment. You almost need a Hazmat team and the guys from Halliburton to pull it off (I'm not calling FEMA. Need this job done within the forseeable future.)

Hey Wonka! I want an Oompa Loompa NOW!

Picturing Trey as Willy Wonka is pretty frightening.

However, for those of you wondering: Girls with Daddy Issues are amazing. :-D

.....Uhhhh

!!!! Take back.......! (The secrect stuff....not the lov'in & cook'in)

Chair? Yes, you. Don't turn your back on me when I'm talking. I've been very disappointed in you lately. After all we've been through--have you even considered what effect your actions have had on me? I swear, I'm this close to pooping on you.

That's LADY MerMortuary...

Being invited to your blog is like being knighted* in the comedy realm. I feel kinda popular.

*I don't know what the female version of "knighted" is. I think it's "ladied".

Struggling with my identity

First I was just my name, and it didn't have that shnappy sassiness that you need in an online identity, so I changed it, but I couldn't think of anything to change it to, then I remembered Life of Pi, so I just copied that instead. The end.

Shhhhh

I think I know the secret..but it's not really a secret to me since I don't care about it. So then it is just information that I know and don't care about. I have alot of that. I'd much rather know a good secret that I would try to keep but I'm not good at keeping secrets so I would most likely tell someone and tell them to keep it for me.

Come to think of it...I'm not good at too many things at all. Just love. That's all I'm good at. And cooking...love and cooking, that's all.

CLUE

Some of you know who I am. Some of you don't. I don't know if I will ever reveal my true identity to all of you. I prefer to remain all anonymous, it's more fun that way. I suppose I don't know who all of you are either, just some of you. Maybe eventually all will be revealed. It will be like it's own weekly show. Hints will be dropped through random blogs, slip ups will occur that reveal their own secrets. Maybe people will become all Sherlock Holmes like and try and solve the mysteries. Just know that I am not Colonel Mustard, nor did I do it with a candlestick. (Get ur mind out of the gutter, this is not porn.... I meant murder the victim with the candlestick...not 'do it'. You guys are gross.)

Those of you that do know the secret, keep it on the DownLow. (And no... I'm not referencing that phenomenon that that is J.L King.. look it up)

Walk like a matador, don't be chickenshit...

Hey, all ya'll...
I have to say, I am just pleased as punch at all of you for coming here.
I feel like Willy Wonka and you guys are the ones that found the golden tickets, and now each of you will do something silly and I get to stand an watch it and be secretly disgusted and fearful of the little people... or something like that...
I will be the Gene Wilder version of Willy Wonka, though... you can tell he was a dirty bird deep down inside... Johnny Depp version seemed a little... outdoorsey... or something...

Tee Hee Hee

Now twice the places to post! Woohoo!

Someone has to bring the geek to this place, and that would be me.

Whew...!!

I've slipped thru the slit in the dark plastic wall and into the 'Shiney Happy Place'! Love it!

Here I am

joining in the fun. Never let it be said that I aint sociable.

I feel honored..

To be able to post to this blog with the other "bitches". I don't know who to thank 1st, the list is so long.

This is like my 3rd Blog I will have to post to...Thanks Catfish....

Getting Started

OK, so I chose a template, messed with it a bit, and now I can add ya'll as authors.
In order to get added you will need to supply me with an email address, which I will send an invite to, follow the directions, etc... Alternately, if you would like a google account with GMAIL let me know and I will email you an invite. If you don't already have a gmail account then what the hell is wrong with you? They rock, as far as I am concerned.
Once you get added as an author you are free to begin posting at will...
If you don't like the template or have some suggestions, let me know and I can make some changes.
GO!

First Post Bitches...

Hey, sorry about the bitches thing...
OK, so here we go...
I am not really sure if we have a purpose here, just really a deal where people that know people can put things... Happy shiny things... I don't know... Like how cool your kids are, or spouses, or pets, or car or vacation or whatever...
I would hate to really set any rules about what is or isn't appropriate... we are all adults and know how to treat people that we are familiar with... We all love each other, kinda sorta maybe, and should feel free to be able to speak our minds without fear, stuff like that...
I am very willing to help anyone that needs it, maybe with how to post a picture or do some fancy html or something... I guess since I created this thing it makes me the overlord... worship me...
Thats about it... go to town.
Love,
Catfish
p.s. oh, feel free to come up with your own nickname if you don't like the one I gave you. I am gonna go by Catfish, yo...
p.p.s. Oh, except for Kitten Chow... she has to stay Kitten Chow unless she can convince me otherwise.